


vegetation

by mharris



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, blatant misuse of tarot cards, precocious ten year olds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:56:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14110875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mharris/pseuds/mharris
Summary: Adam's impromptu trip to Jasmine Cottage gets unfairly turned into a Life Lesson, and Dog doesn't get nearly enough cookies.





	vegetation

**Author's Note:**

> my one word title comes from a word generator, so i guess i can't take credit for that. the incredible laziness, oh that's all mine though.

    Adam and Dog were looking for a few good rabbits to chase. Not to harm, just to chase. They had found a couple so far, but these ones had escaped both quickly and easily, much to Adam and Dog's mutual disappointment. Adam was poking the underside of bushes when he looked up, and realized the rabbits had brought him all the way out to Jasmine Cottage. Well, why waste a trip? He tossed his stick and called Dog, who was now disappointed that he could not chase after it.

    Adam poked his head around the bushes next to the gate. Anathema was in the garden, trying to wrest the flowers back into the world of the living, but with the least amount of work possible. Adam called out to her, and she looked up.

    "Adam!" she exclaimed, wiping sweat from her forehead.

    "What are you doing down in the garden beds?" Adam asked.

    "Class warfare," Anathema replied. "Would you like to come in? I think now is a good time for a break."

    "Can Dog come?"

    "Of course. I'd say I'm a fair bit dirtier than he is, and I'm going inside."

    Adam opened the gate and shepherded Dog through it, who bounded right up to Anathema, jumped up against her, and then bounded right back to Adam.

    Inside, Anathema provided lemonade and cookies, which was great, but made Adam wash his hands first, which was less great. Anathema told Adam about her gardening exploits, and Adam told Anathema about his hunting exploits.

    "What kind of games do _you_ play, Anathema?" Adam asked.

    "I admit, I do not play much these days," Anathema said with a sigh.

    Adam couldn't imagine days without play. He supposed that must be why adults were so frightfully boring and upset all the time, they never took the time to play.

    Anathema watched Adam's mind process these facts, and added, "Even as a child I didn't play much."

    "Why not?" Adam asked. This new reality in which children did not play seemed more shocking than anything he had learned thus far in his life.

    "I didn't have friends, really, as a child. I knew too much."

    "Wensleydale knows a lot, and we still play with him."

    "I knew too much about things people didn't like other people to know about."

    "Like the whales."

    "Among other things."

    Adam, having little capacity for secrets, having always believed in if not the actual truth, then a reasonable version of it to be presented to adults, could understand that he didn't understand. The lack of understanding helped him understand.

    "Ah. I think I got it." he said, and passed half a cookie to Dog as discreetly as he could. "Do you play cards?"

    Adam pointed at a stack of cards under a stack of newspapers. Anathema pulled the newspapers aside and gently tapped the top of the deck with the tips of her fingers.

    "Oh, I don't know, those aren't for games like you know." Anathema said. "They help you… learn things."

    "Like flash cards?"

    Adam knew of flash cards in the same way he knew about spelling bees, from a distance, not up close.

    "No, these are tarot cards,"

    "Taroh cards?" Adam said. "Wensleydale says that his aunt says taroh cards are made by the devil."

    "Oh hardly," Anathema scoffed. "They're just cards that make you think about stuff."

    Anathema tapped the deck softly again, she looked to be deciding something.

    "Do you want to see?" she asked.

    Adam, always eager to learn something new provided it was interesting enough, sat up straighter.

    “How does it work?” Adam asked. "Teach me how to play?"

    Anathema brought the deck out and went through it, showing Adam cards as she talked, "You ask a question, and depending on what cards you pull, it gives you answers. The different cards have different meanings, and when you combine cards together, they tell you different things. It makes you think about what you already know and already feel."

    "What sort of things can you ask?"

    "Oh, anything really. A lot of people ask questions about love."

    Adam made a face that boiled brussel sprouts would have recognized. Anathema smiled.

    "Others ask about money, or about the direction their life is taking or about jobs. A lot people ask about what they need to do."

    Adam stared intently at the cards.

    "Is there a question you'd like answered?"

    Adam had a million questions. Like all babies, he had been born with all the questions in the universe tucked inside of him. Most people replaced those questions with information like the due dates of bills, the practicality of bundling insurance, the word synergy, and long meetings with people who had no real influence on you. But those questions hadn't yet been crowded out of Adam Young. At any given time, he could ask you several questions that you wouldn't have thought of unless you were a precocious ten year old as well. But, he set all those questions aside, and settled on this:

    "How can I make people happy?"

    Anathema paused for just a moment on the question, then held the stack of cards out to Adam.

    "Shuffle please," she said. "Do you know how?"

    "Oh definitely," Adam said with the confidence that only children and drunks have, and then made a rather large mess of the card stack.

    Once the stack was back in a shape that resembled more of a stack than a pile (but not by much), Anathema took it back. She straightened it discreetly, and pulled the first card.

    Adam didn't miss the fact that the card was upside down and read 'The Devil', before Anathema tossed it off the table.

    "Always discard the first," she said, pulling another card. "Two of swords. This card is about conflicting ideas. See how the swords are pointed away from each other, but still have the ability to hurt the person? Ideas can be the same, You must be careful with what you do and say. You may want to act in two different ways, go two directions at the same time, but you can't. So you must be careful, and walk a fine line between them.' Anathema looked at Adam, who was making a face. "Does that make sense to you?"

    Adam shrugged. "I guess."

    Anathema crossed her arms over the table top and leaned in. "So what do you think? Are the cards made by the devil? You'd know, I suppose."

    Adam shook his head vigorously. "Cards were invented by people, and people are alright."

    "When you average them out, I suppose." Anathema said.

    "Are you going to stay here forever, Anathema?" Adam asked suddenly.

    Anathema was taken back. She peered down at Adam curiously, then after a moment said softly, "Do you want me to stay here forever?"

    "I want to keep all my friends with me forever," Adam said. Then paused, and said again, "But I want them to do what they want to do too."

    "A conflicting of ideas," Anathema said, indicating the card between them.

    Adam nodded and chewed his lip while Dog pawed at his leg, looking desperately toward the sleeve of cookies on the table.

    "Looks like you're stuck doing things the regular old human way." Anathema said.

    Adam pushed Dog off of him, and looked up at her, making a face. "What's that?"

    "Talking with them."

     Adam made another face, this one worse than the first.

    Anathema laughed, "Yes, it's like that. Looks like you're human after all."

**Author's Note:**

> As a Practiced Witch, Anathema would not be afraid of the Devil card, but the supreme awkwardness of the situation would be enough for anyone to toss out pieces of their deck. I hold the headcannon that whenever Adam gets near a tarot deck, the devil is always the first card that comes up.


End file.
